KEVIN ROGERS: Alone Together...

Musicians are very sensitive people. You have to be in order to express emotion without words. We also are very self critical. So naturally, most of us are self concious, more so than in other careers by nature of what we do. Because some of us are less than secure with ourselves, sometimes we manifest that by cutting down others around us; typically those who stand out. [so maybe we all feel alone in the end, so maybe we're all together in that fact...]

Something I've learned about people is that no one is truly mean at heart, or "evil." In fact to me, I feel that most people are struggling within, and sometimes some of that struggle gets let out without us knowing it. and if two people meet at the wrong time, then you have a problem.

The first thing is, I'm insecure. With a lot of different things. I'm also aware of this insecurity, aware in a way that I can control my actions. I think because I know how much it hurts myself to be the object of antagonization, I'm more compassionate towards not being the giver of such. And because I've been the giver, I know how awful it can be to me and to the other person. Certain things can't truly be known how bad they are, until you experience them yourself.

Lately I've seen some of my friends here becoming the object of rumors. It's almost seems typical at a place of sensitive artist, living in close proximity, for several weeks. I think that all this drama kind of happens because we all feel alone sometimes.

The other day I was ushering. I'm not going to mention who it was, but someone came up to me who works at the festival and asked me if anyone could sit in the seats with red covers. Even the nobodys, because she/he stated that they were a nobody. She/he said it twice. It almost was an allusion to Josef Conrad's heart of darkness; "the horror, the horror." The first utterance being a summation, the second being a judgement. I looked into her eyes, and said she could sit anywhere she wanted, but I was almost lost in the sorrow that was held within her. I started wondering about the story of that person, about why they feel that way...who caused such heaviness? Then I thought about me. What's worse, the person that in someone's past made them feel less than valued, or the person now, who never says otherwise...

Music is a very intimate art. Our emotions are put up on display, to be seen by all. Being gawked at by those around us sometimes can make us feel even more fragile than we already are. We all feel alone sometimes I guess. Maybe, we're all together in that.